As Suspected….
At first, the nameless, urinous man seems to be vamping for the buck in rut – swishing his hips, running his hands through his longish hair.
It seems to be an instinct-driven and intense mating dance.
Our stranger is at turns coy and beckoning. The buck is….
The buck is….
The buck is about to break through the glass! Or so it seems to a growing throng of bystanders and to appear from stress fractures that are rippling out in concentric circles.
The man faints straightaway. The wall holds.
A park police officer in her Interceptor III is on the scene immediately:
“Ma’am, do you know this man?” she asks.
“He seems to be coming ‘round here a lot, and roiling up our animals when he does.”
“I think we should call 911,” says UnderWoman.
Just then, the man comes to.
He is on his knees, pleading: “Please, please, UnderWoman. Take me to…..
“TNYECONS, TNYECONS….”
Now it sounds like Brian is choking on Dutch verb conjugations, stuck on a stutter…or potentially suffering a stroke. Passersby might think he was trying to flirt with UnderWoman’s goat, or had a chicken bone in his throat.
But UnderWoman knows just what he means!
Not only is she familiar with the The New York EpiCenter of NeuroScience…as a patient of the renowned neurologist Rich Granfeld…but she is also the founder and director of The Senses Bureau (TSB), The Center for Applied Synesthesia (TCFAS) and The Rod and Cone Club (TRACC) — all housed at and partially funded by TNYECONS.
Perhaps because the proper pronunciation of its acronym causes one to sound like an injured animal and produce a certain spittle on the lips, TNYECONS is often simply referred to as “Epi.”
Likewise, TCFAS (pronounced Sephardic style) has a signature “ring” that causes peoples’ eyes to roll upper left and that deters most of them from saying the acronym aloud while eating.
UnderWoman is a strong proponent of “not chewing with your mouth open” and “not talking with your mouth full.”
Well, not really….
In fact, UnderWoman was an early and enthusiastic practioner of both. But when her newly diagnosed myasthenia flares, UnderWoman’s mouth may become so weak that she cannot and eat and speak at the same time and may mispronounce her own name.
As her ! MEDICAL ALERT CARD ! so proudly proclaims, sometimes these symptoms are mistaken for intoxication. Still, she is committed to living LIFE. Her condition bears her no shame!
But back to TNYECONS!
It is THE place for all the “movers and shakers” in neuroscience. Whether you are studying Parkinson’s, ALS and the like, or just have it; whether you are conducting primary research on neuroplasticity, or just want to attend a lecture by someone who is, TNYECONS is the place for you!
UnderWoman is riffing on all these awesome aspects of her life…and on the ground-breaking programs that affect so many people’s lives…when Brian’s incessant honking — remarkably like the calls of wild geese — bring her back to the present.
“TNYECONS, TNYECONS, TNYECONS” he cries.
“”Please take me to TNYECONS, UnderWoman! My memory is coming back. And I need…I need a safe place to crash.”
A lightbulb goes off in UnderWoman’s upper left front orbital.
Aha, she thinks: He IS an amnesic neurologist after all — something she had suspected the first time they met.
“Okay, I’ll call an ambulance. I just wonder what we’ll do with….”
He glances at the animals, takes her hand: “Let us go on foot, with entourage. It will give us time to regroup, to recount.”
UnderWoman thinks to call 911 anyway, just to cover all the bases. But instead , she calls her neurologist, the esteemed Dr. Rich Granfeld.
As always, he will be there, will know what to do.
“Ms. Do-It,” (he addresses her formally), “It occurred to me a few weeks back, when you called. But now I’m fairly certain: Ms. Do-It, I believe you have found Dr. Brian Liebman. Can you bring him here?”
“We are on our way,” says UnderWoman, then hesitates: “But it could take time, as we are on foot and with entourage. Dr. Granfeld, do you allow pigs in your office?”
“It is our preference and intent not to do so, Ms. Do-It. But that has never stopped them before….”