UnderWoman

UnderWoman likes her first logo!

Unlike days of brand building for Fortune 500s — with rich budgets and art departments around the world — UnderWoman Take One has cost nothing.

She is proud to have done something semi-artistic on her own:

She has, without serious injury, used an X-Acto knife to cut an image from a photo of a caricature of herself at sixteen. This image leaps out from an egg cracking open, made by using a Sharpie to nestle a W into the U. She loves the tag lines that this logo might lead to — UnderWoman Hatches a Plan, UnderWoman Thinks Outside the Egg, UnderWoman Acts Over her Egg, and more.

She is confident that X-Acto and Sharpie will sign on as sponsors soon.

Still, the feedback on the original UW logo does not come back unanimous:

Some say UnderWoman’s big eyes and thin thighs do no service to humanity.

Others are upset that she is missing a left hand. (It formerly held a “Sweet Sixteen” heart that Wendy found sappy and removed with a quick slip of the wrist….)

Taking all this feedback in stride, and now embracing her life in Maryland enough to safely return to New York without posing a flight risk, UnderWoman and entourage hop a bus to Manhattan and set off in search:

At the Central Park Zoo, UnderWoman susses out the caricaturists — judging them on a weighted average of talent, paper stock, pricing, boldness, accuracy, speed.

When she has found THE ONE, she presents him with her hope — holding forth the cut-out figure, presenting her preferred Pantone Matching System color palette, pointing to potential type faces, pontificating about the “happy medium” look that will “split the difference” between her younger self and her older self.

“Wait,” the Caricature King cuts her short: “You are looking for a LOGO, not a caricature!”

“Well, really more like a brand than a logo,” says UnderWoman, quite pleased.

“I can’t just do that for you, here, in public, in the park,” he hisses, “lest everyone in the line behind you also seeks to be a brand.”

“And the problem with that would be?” asks UnderWoman.

He hands her a card, and says, in loud whisper: “I mean, I would have to do this in private, at night, for more pay.”

UnderWoman considers the possibilities, begins to bargain: “Night would be WONDERFUL,” she purrs. “Would you be willing to throw in some stocks of Obama, Oprah, Martha, Madoff? UnderWoman would like to talk with them. UnderWoman also seeks thematic and seasonal backdrops as part of the packege. See! The cracking egg also resembles a tulip, which is especially heartening in the Spring. I’m thinking Colorforms, paper dolls. And….”

“Please stop now,” he says. “Google me. E-mail me. Call me. But don’t give people ideas….”

“Dessine-moi un mouton,” she says, pouting, strutting, as parting words.

He laughs…knows just what she means!

But it will be months before they pursue this path again.

For now, other things take precedence….